May the Angels Lead You
by lawslave
Summary: How do you stop feeling responsible for something that was not your fault?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This story deals with the passing of a child - a warning in case that's something anyone prefers to pass on.

Not sure how often I will post new chapters. Been struggling and procrastinating on the last chapter for about a month, so trying to see if posting the story will give me the push I need to finish it.

Chapter 1

Officer Jamie Reagan was questioning what had compelled him to go for a run after tour in this weather. He'd complained repeatedly to his partner about the heat throughout the day. Now it was barely five o'clock and he'd swear that he could still feel the heat radiating off of the sidewalks. The soles of his feet felt like they were burning up with each stride. It was August in New York - an unusually hot August with temperatures in the upper eighties the last three days - and the sidewalks and buildings had a full day to absorb the sun's rays and bake everything and everyone who dared to venture outside.

Jamie had turned around to head back to his apartment sooner than he planned. His gray t-shirt was already drenched in sweat and his energy was nearly zapped after a busy day tour, but he hadn't been out for a run in over a week and needed to step back into his workout routine.

He was about four blocks from his apartment when he went from a jog to a steady-paced walk, placing his hands on his hips to catch his breath. He'd turned off a busy avenue and was half-way up a quiet residential street when he caught sight of something strange out of the corner of his eye and did a double take into the rear window of a late-model sedan parked along the street. There was a baby carrier in the back seat with the canopy fully drawn and something sitting in it.

The hairs on the back of Jamie's neck stood on end - something wasn't right.

Jamie walked back a few steps and approached sedan, his eyes narrowing as he studied the carrier and its contents. He moved to peer through the back window and get a better view into the carrier, when he noted a sleeping child with matted, damp hair. His eyes widened and he slammed the side of his fist against the window, trying to get some movement from the infant in the carrier.

"Hey!" he shouted, hoping for some sort of response, but he got nothing. He grabbed the handles of the two passenger side doors, but they were locked. He ran around to the driver's side, repeating his actions, but got the same results.

Jamie looked to the sidewalk and saw a few people heading in both directions, some looking at him strangely as if afraid of his near panicked state. "Someone call 911!" he yelled to anyone that would listen and ran back around to the passenger's side.

People stopped to stare, but Jamie couldn't tell if anyone actually listened. He turned to search the sidewalk frantically, looking for anything he could use to break the window, but saw nothing until he spotted one of the pedestrians, who was watching his seemingly odd behavior, holding a large umbrella with a long metal tip. He ran over and grabbed the item out of her hand. The woman's only reaction was to jerk away from him, afraid he was going to hurt her.

"Call 911! Tell them there's a baby, unresponsive in a car!"

That seemed to spur someone into action while others just stopped to observe, not quite grasping the situation.

As soon as the words left his mouth, Jamie lifted the umbrella with both hands and smashed it into the front passenger window. The safety glass shattered, half of it falling away upon impact. He used the umbrella to swipe at the remaining glass and let it fall to the ground and snaked his arm through the window to unlock the rear door.

Jamie opened the back door and was assaulted by the intense heat inside. He shoved the canopy back and placed his hand on the side of the baby's head - a dark-haired litte boy from the way he was dressed. He felt like he was on fire. Jamie didn't think he could be more than seven or eight months old.

"Hey, buddy," Jamie said gently as he rubbed the baby's head and then his belly and chest. The baby boy's cheeks were flushed, but there was absolutely no movement. Jamie undid the restraints and pulled him out of the seat. He was completely oblivious to anyone and anything around him, focused solely on the limp little body in his arms. He rubbed the baby's foot and then ran his hand up and down his back hoping to feel some sort of response, but got nothing again.

Jamie knew he wasn't breathing and gently laid him on the sidewalk, away from the broken glass. He knelt down beside him, placing his fingers on the underside of his arm to find a pulse, but found none. He placed his hand on the baby's forehead and started compressions. He was on autopilot now, doing everything he'd learned in the first aid course he'd been required to take by the department, alternating between the rescue breathing and the compressions. Jamie didn't know how long he gave the baby CPR, he couldn't tell you anything about the people gathered around him. He didn't even realize first responders had arrived and didn't come out of his zone until a couple of medics pulled him away and he landed on his backside. Out of breath and still in shock, he just stared at the baby lying motionless on the sidewalk while rivulets of sweat ran down his face just like they had been during his jog.

"How long did you give him CPR?" one of the medics asked.

Jamie's head snapped up and he looked back at the medic. "I don't know." He shook his head. "However long it took you to get here."

A couple of uniforms were moving people back.

One medic had a small ambu bag over the baby's face while the other scooped him up and they ran off together to the ambulance.

When a uniform squatted down next to him, Jamie saw the collar brass for the Fifteenth Precinct and the officer's nameplate read 'Suarez.'

"You okay, buddy?" Suarez asked.

Jamie blinked a few times as his breathing finally started to return to normal. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Suarez looked at him doubtfully. "Was that your baby?"

"No," he responded. Jamie got to his feet and looked over the officer's shoulder as the siren on the ambulance began blaring and it sped off. He finally noticed a few police cars parked on the street behind it. The crowd remained as they whispered and pointed at him and the damaged car.

"I was walking by and I noticed him in the car." Jamie looked at Suarez again and said, "My name's Reagan. I work out of the Twelfth."

Suarez's eyebrows shot up. He put two and two together and seemed to know exactly who he was. "Good thing you were."

"Yeah, I hope so," Jamie whispered as he stared off in the direction of the ambulance.

"No idea whose car that is?" Suarez said and pointed over to the sedan where one of the other uniforms was already rifling through the glove box.

Jamie pulled the collar of his shirt over his face to wipe it down before answering. "None. Where are they taking him?"

"Presbyterian."

"Hey, what's going on?" an approaching man yelled out.

Jamie and Officer Suarez turned to see a dark-haired man walking towards them, his gait a little off as he approached. When he got close enough, the smell of alcohol on his breath was easily discernible.

"Did somebody break into my car?" he asked.

Jamie's eyes widened at the question and something snapped in him. He stormed off in the man's direction and shoved him back hard enough that he landed on his back a few feet away. "Is the damn car all you care about?!" he yelled.

"Hey, Reagan!" Suarez grabbed Jamie by the shoulders when he tried to go after the man again. Another uniform stepped in between them, just in case.

Jamie's chest was heaving as he struggled to get another shot at the guy.

"Not worth it man," Suarez hissed into his ear. "Settle down."

"What the hell is your problem, man? Did you do that?" the man spat out as he picked himself off the ground.

"Charlie! Take him over to the squad car and keep him there for now!" Suarez shouted at another officer.

Suarez looked back at Jamie. "Can I let you go? We'll get this sorted out, okay?"

Jamie followed the man with his eyes as he was escorted away. "Yeah," he huffed out.

When Suarez let him go, Jamie asked, "Can I get a ride to Presbyterian?"

Suarez gave him a look of understanding. "Yeah. I'll get one of the guys to take you over. I'm sure you know detectives will head over there too. I'll tell them to look for you so they can get your statement."

Jamie shook his head and followed Suarez as he searched for his ride.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Jamie sat in the ER waiting room at Presbyterian Hospital. He'd checked in at the front desk and was given a dubious look when he had identified himself as a police officer. He'd explained the situation, telling them that he just wanted to know if the baby that was brought in by ambulance was okay. One of the nurses overheard him - she'd briefly seen the unresponsive infant – and took pity on him, telling him to have a seat and she'd let him know something when she could.

So he took a seat, looking as miserable, if not worse, than the others waiting to get medical treatment for whatever ailed them. He'd leaned back and closed his eyes in exhaustion, but all that did was make him see the lifeless little boy in the car seat, so leaned forward and held his head in his hands, staring sightlessly at the scuffed linoleum floor.

"Hey, kid. You okay?"

Jamie jumped to his feet upon hearing the familiar, gruff, but gentle voice call out.

"Danny? Hey. What are you doing here?" Jamie looked around the waiting room and realized the sun had set outside.

"Caught a case," Danny explained.

Jamie studied his face and his brow furrowed. "The baby?"

"Yeah," he confirmed.

Finally, he thought, he was gonna get some news. "Is he ok? Nurse said she was gonna let me know, but she never came back out."

Danny's lips clamped shut, but his eyes said it all and Jamie felt like he just got punched in the gut.

He dropped back into his chair. "When?"

"Not long after they brought him in. They couldn't revive him." Danny took a seat next to his brother. "Officer on the scene said you gave him CPR."

"Lotta good that did," he whispered as he rubbed his neck.

Danny could see the guilt on his brother's face. "Hey, kid, listen to me. Don't do that. You did all you could."

Jamie didn't respond and Danny knew he wasn't hearing him.

"Why?"

Danny tilted his head – he wasn't following.

Jamie met his brother's eyes and asked, "Why was he in the car. How long was he there? Was that the father back there?" His voice grew angrier with each question.

Danny nodded. "Unis are taking the dad to the squad for questioning. Guys on the scene didn't get much out of him after they told him his son was on his way to the hospital. Said he appeared distraught." Danny emphasized the word 'appeared' because the officer told him he had a feeling something was off.

"All he was worried about was the damn car." Jamie's jaw clenched. "He'd been drinking," he added.

"What?" Danny asked.

"When he came back to the car, I could smell alcohol," Jamie clarified.

Danny didn't miss the way his brother's hands clenched into tight fists. "I'll know more once I talk to him. We're trying to track down the mom," he said.

"What was his name?" Jamie asked.

Danny leaned forward and folded his hands. That was about all the uniforms on the scene got out of the father. "Aidan. Aidan Monroe."

Jamie stared ahead.

"You up for coming back with me so I can get your statement? Baez is getting the car."

Jamie ran a hand across his weary face. "Yeah."

"You sure?" Danny asked.

"Yeah. I just want to get this over with," Jamie responded and got out of his chair.

Danny looked at him worriedly.

/

Jamie followed Danny and his partner into the squad.

"Cop a squat next to my desk, kid. Just gotta check in with the Sarge first," Danny instructed as he threw his suit jacket over the back of his chair.

Jamie said nothing, just like on the ride over to the squad. Maria shot Danny a look and Danny just shrugged back before walking over to Gromley's office.

Jamie sat quietly and leaned against the desk, placing his arm atop a stack of files. He was trying to think of anything but Aidan Monroe when he heard a semi-familiar voice behind him. Jamie pivoted in his seat and recognized the man pacing the box. He was shouting, demanding information on his kid, but the concern in his voice was more for himself than for the baby on his way to the ME's office.

Jamie turned back around and clenched his jaw. He didn't think he'd ever felt such disgust for another human being. And that disgust led him to lose control for the second time that day. A blind anger fueled him and he shot out of his seat, making a beeline for the interrogation room. The uniform standing guard had been talking to another officer and couldn't react quickly enough to the flash of gray that flew by him. Jamie slammed the door open and went after the father again.

"What the hell are you -" the father snarled before he was grabbed by the front of his shirt and thrown against the far wall of the room. He had a good few inches on Jamie, but Jamie had no problem manhandling the larger man.

"You killed him! Do you even care or are you more worried about yourself, huh!?" Jamie spat in his face.

The stunned man just stared at him with wide, frightened eyes. There was a commotion behind Jamie and he felt hands pulling at him, but he wasn't budging.

"Answer me!" he demanded and shook him as hard as he could manage.

"Hey! Let him go!" Danny ordered. "Jamie!" He was trying to wedge himself in between them to get Jamie to release the father.

The sound of his brother's voice drew his attention away from his target and gave the officers behind him a chance to pull him away, but not without Danny having to rip the man's shirt from Jamie's fists.

Jamie stared back at his brother. Danny stood in front of the other man, a hand on his chest to make sure he stayed put with his own wide eyes aimed back at him.

"Get him in the other room!" he shouted at the uniforms.

Jamie's chest was heaving once again as the officers escorted him out. It wasn't until then that he realized what he'd done, walking past the shocked faces of Baez, Gromley and the rest of the squad.

Once Jamie was out of the room, Danny turned back to Brian Monroe.

"I want him arrested! He's crazy, man! That's the second time - " Monroe complained before he was cut off.

"Shut up and sit down!" Danny shouted back.

Monroe complied, but not without first glaring at the detective. Gromley and the other detectives left Danny and Maria in the room, closing the door on their way out.

Danny rubbed at his flushed face.

"Is it true? What he said?" Monroe asked.

"What?" Danny asked.

"About Aidan. Is he dead?" Monroe looked back up a Danny, but there were no clear signs of grief or shock.

The uniform had been right, there was something off about the guy. If he thought his kid was dead, there should have been something more in his voice or in his eyes, but there wasn't. As a father himself, Danny would feel great heartache in having to deliver that kind of news to another parent. But the only heartache he felt in this case was for the baby and for his brother. A person with no ties to the child other than trying to save his life showed more true emotion for the little boy than the man sitting before him.

Baez saw it also. "Aidan's dead. They couldn't revive him after he was pulled from the car," Maria informed him coldly.

Monroe placed his elbows on the table and ran his hands across his face slowly. Maria and Danny exchanged another look. Danny knew he shouldn't be quick to judge, but he got the feeling that even though this man was Aidan's biological father, he probably thought his responsibilities began and ended with conception, at least in his mind.

"Why was Aidan in the car by himself?" Danny asked forcefully, no compassion in his voice at all. He was barely keeping himself in check - he'd probably kill the bastard with his own hands right now if he could.

Monroe dropped his arms on the table and shook his head. "I wasn't supposed to have him," he said in his defense.

"That doesn't answer my question and that's not an excuse," Danny shouted back at him.

"Jesus." Monroe covered his eyes. "His mom made me take him for the day, okay? Said she had to work and no one else would watch him so she dropped him off even though I said no. I had things to do, but she just up and left him. He was sleeping when I left my apartment and I forgot I had him with me, I swear." He shook his head as his face began to crumble.

Danny wasn't buying it. His reaction was forced.

"But I wasn't gone very long!" he added.

"First, it wasn't like he was some dog you could leave in the car with the windows cracked open. Second, in this heat, you don't even do that to dog. And third, that little boy was in that car for more than a few minutes. So you're going to tell me where you went and when and give me his mother's information before I decide to stuff you into the back of a locked car myself and I guarantee you no one around here will care if I do," Danny threatened.

"I hear we'll have a high of eighty-eight tomorrow," Maria added.

Monroe looked at the two detectives with fearful eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

Thank you for all of the reviews! They are greatly appreciated!

Chapter 3

Jamie looked up at Danny as he entered the room and then went back to studying his hands.

Danny took a seat across from him, placing a notepad and pen off to the side. He was quiet for a few seconds, not sure how to approach an angry Jamie. He couldn't blame him for doing what he did - he wanted to take a crack at the guy himself, but still. "You know, usually I'm the one that's going off the rails and having to be reigned in."

Jamie was back in silent mode.

"Jamie -"

"Can you just take my statement? It's been a really long day and I just want to go home," Jamie said.

Danny lowered his head to try and catch his brother's eyes. "I just want to make sure you're okay. The father's wanting to file a complaint against you and I don't know that there's a way around it considering you jumped him in front of the whole squad." Danny shook his head. "That's not normally you, kid."

Jamie narrowed his eyes at his brother. "It hasn't been a normal day, Danny. So what more do you want, huh?"

They stared at each other for a few seconds before the older Reagan caved.

Danny sighed and reached for the pen and pad he'd brought in. "Okay. Why don't you start with when you first came across Aidan."

/

It was late by the time Jamie made it home. Danny had insisted on driving him, despite his many objections, but his brother had threatened to cuff him and throw him in the back of his car if need be.

He walked into his dark apartment and went straight to his bedroom, not bothering to turn on any lights along the way. He went through the motions of showering and getting ready for bed, hoping sleep would come to him so that he could put an end to this horrible day.

But his sleep was limited that night, interrupted by nightmares of a limp baby in the car, in his arms, of counting chest compressions on his tiny body over and over, all with the same result. He tossed and turned and then just laid awake staring at the ceiling until five a.m., when he couldn't stand to be in bed anymore.

Jamie got up and brewed a pot of coffee, taking a cup back to the living room when it was done. He turned on the television, not bothering to put it on any particular program; he just wanted a distraction. Meaningless commercials played one after the other until the introduction to the local channel's five-thirty news program began. The anchors went through the lead stories, Jamie barely paying attention as he drank his coffee when the voice of a female reporter standing on a darkened New York City street caught his attention.

'the infant, whose identity has not been released by police, was found in a car and rescued by a pedestrian who discovered the child and broke into the vehicle to get him out. We are told that the Good Samaritan performed CPR on the infant until medics arrived on the scene and he was then transported to a local area hospital where doctors were unable to revive him. Police have not released any details on how or why the infant was left in the vehicle, but sources are reporting that the father has been questioned by police. Now, late last night, photos were sent to the station by a witness of the unidentified Good Samaritan and his attempts to resuscitate the infant. These images captured the dramatic scene...'

The air escaped from Jamie's lungs. They switched from one photo to another - profile shots of him performing CPR on Aidan - doing both compressions and rescue breaths, on the ground after the medics had moved him aside to continue his efforts, standing with Officer Suarez after Aidan had been taken away and the last one - him being held back after shoving Brian Monroe, all taken by someone in the crowd of people that had surrounded them when it all happened. They went through the photos once and then showed them again and again as the reporter and anchorwoman discussed the story.

Jamie just stared back, his mouth hanging open. It was bad enough that he had to relive this in his head, but now he had actual photos to remind him of those horrible moments.

And he was unidentified for now, but how long before some one put his name out there?

Jamie didn't think this could get any worse, but it just did.

/

Frank Reagan stepped out of the elevator and hit a speed dial button on his phone. He'd been trying to reach his youngest son since before he left the house this morning but had been unsuccessful so far. Danny had filled him in on what happened the night before, sharing his concern for his brother but not wanting to push too hard. Danny had agreed with Frank's suggestion to leave him in peace for the night and Frank would check in with Jamie in the morning.

Before he'd even had a chance to call Jamie, just as he and his father were sitting down to breakfast with the morning news on in the background, the story of the baby left in a hot car came up on the rotation, but Frank never expected to see images of his son trying to breathe life into the tiny infant. They'd sent chills down his spine - the desperation, the humanity and the absolute shock on his son's face after the boy had been taken away, all captured for posterity. Of greater concern to Frank was the attention it would draw to his normally private son, worse in this case because he knew this had deeply affected him. And it was only a matter of time before someone put a name to the face.

Which was why Garrett Moore was the first person he saw as soon as he stepped foot out of the elevator.

"You've seen the news?" Garrett asked without so much as a greeting, while scanning through something on his tablet.

"I have," Frank answered as he marched towards his office. He frowned and disconnected the call when it went to Jamie's voice mail again.

"Good morning, sir," Baker greeted as she followed the two men into the commissioner's office.

"Good morning, Baker." When Frank got to his desk, he faced his assistant. "Call over to the Twelfth. Find out if Officer Reagan is on tour."

"Yes, sir," she responded and headed back out to her desk, closing the door behind her.

Garrett was still focused on his tablet. "The photos have gone out across the wire. Every major news outlet is running the story, making inquires to the department on the identity of the Good Samaritan and details on the investigation." Garrett looked at his boss. "All of that aside, Frank, those photos...I'm sure I don't have to tell you how gut-wrenching they are. Have you spoken to Jamie?"

"No, you don't have to tell me. And, no, I have not spoken to him. He hasn't answered my calls." Frank sat in his chair and sighed. "Danny caught the case and one of the uniforms on the scene told him about Jamie. Said he's taking it pretty hard."

"Can't blame him," Garrett said as he sat down in a guest chair. "How do you want to handle this? He'll get identified eventually. And we have that press conference already set for this afternoon on the subway mugging case. Questions are bound to come up."

"I'd like a chance to speak to him before I figure that out."

"Excuse me, sir," Baker interrupted.

"What did you find out?"

"Officer Reagan had a day tour today, sir, but he banged in sick," she advised.

Frank nodded. "Thank you, Baker. Clear my morning and let my detail know I'm going to head out in a few."

"Yes, sir," she said and stepped back out.

"Mountain's going to Mohammed?" Garrett asked.

"My only choice," Frank replied.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: First part of this chapter is my take on Frank checking in on Jamie. It seems to me that on the show, he usually sends Danny to check on his brother or comments that Jamie will be fine. Just an observation...

Chapter 4

Jamie opened the door to his apartment to reveal his father on the other side. He didn't have to guess why he was here. He'd already received calls from every member of his family, his sergeant and his partner, just to name a few. And he'd ignored every single one of them.

"Hey, son," Frank greeted.

"Hey," Jamie answered wearily.

"Can I come in?" Frank asked despite the fact that it was plainly obvious his son wasn't in the mood for company, but that wasn't going to stop him.

Jamie stood back and motioned him in. Frank stepped into the apartment and followed Jamie to the living room where he grabbed a beer off the coffee table and sat down on the couch.

"Kind of early for that," Frank commented gently.

"I've been up for a long time," he mumbled around the bottle.

"I'm sure you have," Frank replied and took a seat next to his son. "I tried calling you several times," he informed him.

Jamie looked down at his lap. "I turned my phone off. Didn't feel like having the same conversation ten times," he stated.

Frank leaned forward and folded his hands. "I'm sorry about all of this, Jamie," he told him as he turned to study his son.

Jamie refused to look at his father and kept his mouth clamped shut for a few moments, choosing instead to focus on the bottle propped up on his lap. "I just keep wondering if there was something more I could've done," he finally said softly.

"You did all you could for that little boy, Jamie," Frank tried convincing him, but he knew his son would have trouble hearing him right now. "You can't punish yourself for what someone else did to him," he asserted.

Jamie continued to focus on his drink. "I wanted to kill that guy," he whispered. "He didn't even care," he stated.

Frank understood. As cops, they all had cases that got to them. They all had an Aidan Monroe whose senseless, preventable death ate at them. And although this hadn't been a case, but a chance encounter that ended tragically, it was still going to gnaw at him just the same. And in this situation, Jamie would add undue guilt for not being able to revive the boy.

"I heard," Frank sighed. Danny had told him about Jamie's altercation with the father in the squad room and informed him that the father was planning to lodge a complaint. "I don't blame you for that. I don't think anyone would," he remarked.

"I keep thinking back to the baby I pulled out of the burning building and how that felt. You told me there was no greater reward than saving someone's life. But the other end of the spectrum," Jamie pondered as he thought back to yesterday afternoon, "that just knocks you on your ass," he finished.

"Yeah, it does," Frank agreed sadly. "But you pick yourself up because before you know it, there will be someone else out there that needs your help. They won't all be success stories, son, but they each make you a little stronger," he encouraged.

Jamie finally met his father's eyes but didn't respond, so Frank continued. "I know this is bad enough and you didn't need these photos popping up, but inquiries are coming in, wanting to know who you are," he advised.

"Too much to ask you to keep my name out of it?" Jamie wondered despite the clear answer.

"I would if I could, Jamie, but chances are they'll figure it out before we even release any information," he surmised.

"I know," Jamie acknowledged. The Post, alone, had plastered his photo in the paper a few times already. "I don't want any attention from this. This isn't about anything I did...or didn't do. This is about Aidan and making sure his father pays for what he did," he declared.

"You're right. We'll do everything we can to make sure that happens," Frank assured him. "I just wanted to make sure you were all right," he said.

Jamie shrugged. "I'll get over it," he supposed.

"No, not completely, anyway. But you wouldn't be the good person you are if you did."

/

After his father had left, Jamie fell into a doze on the couch. His sleepless night and empty stomach had allowed for the single beer he drank to lull him into a light sleep, until a knock on his door jarred him awake.

"Come on, Reagan. Open up!" a muffled voice cried out.

Jamie closed his eyes. Eddie. He was wondering if she'd go away by ignoring her when the knocking started up again.

"Not going anywhere until you open up! I know you're in there!" Eddie shouted.

Jamie pushed himself off his couch and shuffled over to the door, opening it so he could glare at his partner, who stood dressed in full uniform and held a bag in one hand. "I banged in sick, Eddie. I remember someone telling me to leave them alone when they did the same thing," he snapped.

Eddie took no offense to his tone and, actually, didn't even acknowledge it. "And I remember you ignoring that request by being your persistent, annoying self," she shot back. She smirked at him and gave him a once over. "Well, you certainly could pass for not feeling well," she commented. "You gonna let me in?" she asked.

"Do I have a choice?" he grumbled.

"No. So step aside," Eddie ordered and stared at him with widened eyes when he didn't budge. "I brought food and I have less than an hour for lunch, so come on, Reagan!" she pleaded.

Jamie sighed and opened the door the rest of the way. Eddie walked right in, making her way to his kitchen counter while Jamie headed back to the couch. Eddie unpacked the bag and brought a couple of containers with her to the living room.

Eddie thrust one into his hands with a set of plastic silverware. "Here you go, lambchop. Got you your favorite mac and cheese, so eat up," she prompted.

Jamie opened up the container and poked at the noodles. "Thanks, but not hungry," he replied. He placed the container on the coffee table and slouched against the cushions.

Eddie swallowed a bite from her own dish. "Come on, partner. Made a special trip for that," she informed him.

Jamie shook his head and ran a hand across his tired eyes.

Eddie gave him a look of sympathy and put her food down so she could turn and address him. "I'm sorry about what happened," she started.

Jamie's head rolled along the cushion to acknowledge her. "You saw the news? The pictures?" he asked.

"Yeah. It was hard to miss," she said with a grimace. "I know there's nothing anyone can say to make this any better so I won't even try. Just wanted to check in on you and all I could think of was to bring some food cause, you know, that's my thing," she said. "Plus, I was hungry, so..." she admitted.

Jamie gave her a small, genuine smile. "I appreciate that. Really," he thanked her.

"Are you gonna be back at work tomorrow?" Eddie asked.

"Can't hide forever, right?" he responded.

"No, you can't. Especially when I get stuck writing summonses all day when you bail on me. You know how I feel about that," she complained with a smirk.

Jamie scrunched up his nose. "Yeah. I know how much you hate that," he echoed. He looked at the container on the coffee table and went to pick it up again. "I haven't eaten since yesterday. Guess I can't let this go to waste," he said.

Eddie smiled. "No, you can't," she said and grabbed her food so she could continue eating. "Come on, put on some of that mindless daytime TV you like so much," she ordered.

"...and have sufficient evidence indicating that he was responsible for the string of violent muggings that took place in the subway over that six week period." Garrett looked over his glasses at the media seated before him. "Any questions on this case?" he asked.

The gathered journalists all began shouting at once.

"Commissioner!"

"Commissioner!"

Frank looked at the reporters, bracing himself for what was coming. "Yes, Bill," he called out.

"Commissioner, has there been an arrest in the death of Aidan Monroe and what were the circumstances that led to his death?" the reporter asked.

Frank pursed his lips at the change of topic. "The Department is not ready to release the full details of the case as the investigation is on going. The boy's father is being questioned as the eight month old child was in his care at the time of his passing," he informed them and scanned the room for the next question.

"Commissioner!"

"Commissioner!"

"Barbara," Frank said.

"Commissioner, reports are surfacing that the identity of the Good Samaritan photographed performing CPR on little Aidan Monroe is in fact your son, Officer Jameson Reagan. Can you confirm those reports?" Barbara asked.

That didn't take long.

Frank studied the papers on the table before he spoke. "Officer Reagan was the individual who pulled Aidan Monroe out of the vehicle and attempted to revive him on the scene," he confirmed. "Officer Reagan requests that the attention remain on Aidan and the prevention of such an incident in the future. Now, if there are no other questions on the business that brought us here in the first place, I believe we can bring this to a close," he promptly finished.

Frank got up, despite the media clammering for more, with Garrett following close behind.

"Can't say I'm surprised they ID'ed him so quickly. The guys at The Post certainly know him well enough," Garrett commented.

"Yeah," Frank responded grimly. He hoped Jamie was ready to have his face and name on the front page again. A story of this magnitude wasn't going to go away quickly.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

As expected, Jamie's name was included in the media coverage of the tragic case, on both television and print. The Post used the photo of Jamie giving little Aidan Monroe a rescue breath on its cover with the title 'Officer's Heartbreaking Efforts to Rescue Baby' and Jamie's departmental photo as an inset. The story dominated the air and requests for interviews were declined by 1PP. Jamie continued to stay away from any news coverage.

"Where's Jamie? Isn't he joining us?" Erin asked as she passed a platter down the table.

Frank placed his wine glass down and looked at his daughter. "He'll be along. He worked midnight and planned to go home and sleep before coming over," he advised.

"I still can't get over those photos. Such a horrible situation," Linda commented as she passed a dish to her husband.

Nicky scooped some mashed potatoes onto her plate and looked at her aunt. "Yeah. The baby was so tiny next to Uncle Jamie. Almost didn't seem real," she said.

"Well, it was real alright. We're close to getting the scumbag responsible for it locked up, too," Danny growled.

"What about the mom?" Nicky asked.

Danny sighed. "She's young, had her own issues before she got pregnant and cleaned herself up when she found out she was having a baby. But she struggled because she really didn't have any family and the father, well, obviously he didn't care." Danny took a bite of his dinner and added, "Legal Aid was trying to help her go after him for child support, but they hadn't gotten anywhere yet."

"She's completely distraught, understandably, but blaming herself for leaving the baby with his father," Erin said. "Dillard caught the case - DA thought there were too many Reagans involved already."

"He's probably right," Frank commented.

"Yeah. Melissa, the mom, left Aidan with him because she was afraid she'd get fired if she missed another day of work. The neighbor that normally watched him got sick. So she went to the person she thought should share responsibility for the baby," Erin explained and shook her head as she cut her food.

"Just because you contribute half of the DNA, doesn't make you a father," Henry grumbled.

"No, it doesn't, Pop," Frank agreed.

"How long are they gonna keep showing those pictures on the news?" Jack asked. "It must make Uncle Jamie sad. I would be," he said before taking a bite of his dinner.

The adults looked at each other wondering the same thing.

"Well, Jack, unfortunately, the media likes to dwell on stories like these until the next big news item comes along. And you're right, it does make your Uncle sad, so let's just move on to another topic before he gets here," Frank said pointedly to the whole table.

Everyone did as Frank instructed and it wasn't more than five minutes later that Jamie arrived for dinner.

"Hey, everybody. Sorry I'm late," Jamie greeted.

The family didn't miss the dark circles under Jamie's eyes.

"Hey, Jamie," Henry greeted back.

"Hey, son. How was your tour?" Frank asked.

"Uneventful," Jamie replied and looked around the table quickly before putting all of his attention on loading up his plate.

"Well, that's always a good thing," Danny commented, glancing at his brother.

"Sure is," Jamie added. He ate his food eagerly, despite his lack of appetite, so as to avoid the covert looks he was getting from his family. Maybe if he forced himself to clean his plate, he could bypass any 'are you ok' talks. He couldn't deal with that now.

"Come on, keep walking," Jamie ordered. He and Eddie were escorting a purse snatcher who'd given them chase back to their squad car.

"Nah, man. I'm telling you, I know you from somewhere," the young white male said over his shoulder as he tried to get another look at his arresting officer.

"I don't think so buddy, unless I've arrested you before," Jamie responded as he pushed him along. He kept looking to his left every time he walked by another car parked along the curb.

"I'm thinking that's not such a crazy possibility," Eddie commented as she walked along side them holding the purse he'd tossed just before her partner had tackled him to the ground. She didn't miss Jamie's new habit of checking every parked car on the street as he walked by them, she just wasn't sure whether he was aware that he was doing it.

"No, that's not it," their perp replied.

Jamie jostled his shoulder to prod him along. "Turn around and keep walking," he ordered again.

The purse snatcher's eyes widened. "Oh, I got it! You're that guy! The one on TV with the kid and the car."

Jamie and Eddie's eyes met, Jamie rolling his and sighing at the same time.

"Yeah, man, that's you on the news," the purse snatcher declared.

"All you should be worrying about right now are the people you're gonna end up with in lock up. It's a full moon out tonight and all the whack jobs tend to come out," Eddie snarked.

"Present company included," Jamie added.

They reached their car and threw the perp in the back. Once they closed the door, Jamie leaned back against the side of the car. "I'm tired of everyone bringing this up everywhere I go. When's it gonna stop?" he wondered.

Eddie leaned back next to him. "I don't know. It seemed to disappear for a few days until the dad finally got arrested. Now its back in the news again," she said.

"I wouldn't know," Jamie said.

Eddie tilted her head, confused by what he meant.

Jamie pulled his hat off and ran his fingers through his hair. "I've been avoiding the news. I was there. Last thing I need is to keep seeing those photos." He looked over at his partnet. "I had a reporter waiting outside my place yesterday," he said.

"Seriously?" Eddie asked.

Jamie nodded back.

"How'd they get your address?" she wondered.

"They're reporters. They investigate," Jamie said and released a frustrated sigh. "I don't know, it's not like it would be that hard to find. I just wish everyone would leave me alone." He pushed off the side of the car and walked over to the driver's side.

Eddie stared at him in silence wishing there was something she could do to make it all better.


	6. Chapter 6

Finally! I got an ending finished up for this story, so now I can post more often. :)

Chapter 6

Jamie pulled the squad car alongside a five-story building. It was near the end of tour and they were responding to a domestic disturbance call at an address with a history of such calls.

Eddie studied her partner again as he put the car in park. He'd been quiet again today and it was really starting to worry her. She'd been unable to get more than short, precise responses from him whenever she'd tried to start up a conversation. They hadn't been out for drinks or a bite after tour like they typically did in weeks, since everything happened, and she had noticed the shadows under his eyes - they were hard to miss. Whenever she asked how he was doing, all she'd get was a 'fine.' But she knew better and she didn't know what to do.

Jamie got out the car and looked through the rear window of the car parked in front of them, something that, once again, didn't escape Eddie's attention. He walked up the short flight of stairs to the building's main entrance with his partner at his side.

"Hopefully this won't turn into major drama and we can clock out on time," Eddie said.

Jamie opened the front door for her. "Yeah," he replied.

Eddie sighed at his one word response, but said nothing and they proceeded up the stairs to the fourth floor where they had no trouble finding the apartment. The yelling was clearly coming from 4B.

"Great. Still going at it," Eddie commented.

Jamie stopped at the door. "Police, open up!" he yelled as he banged on the door with the side of his fist to make sure he was heard, but the couple continued to shout at each other.

Jamie pounded on the door a little harder. The partners exchanged a look when the yelling suddenly stopped and the door opened halfway to reveal a dark-haired man of no more than forty slumped slightly against it.

"Can I help you, officers?" he greeted them calmly, despite his flushed complexion.

"Yeah, your neighbors called in a disturbance. Do you live here, sir?" Eddie asked.

"Yeah, this is my place," he answered.

"What's your name, sir?" Jamie asked.

"Jeff Bennett."

"Mr. Bennett, who else is in the apartment with you?" Jamie eyed the area behind him for any signs of trouble.

"My wife and kid," he responded curtly.

The partners exchanged another look when they heard a quiet whimpering coming from inside.

"Can we come in, Mr. Bennett?" Eddie asked.

"Why?" Bennett responded harshly. He stood to his full height with a firm grip on the edge of the door.

Jamie turned away momentarily to request back-up on his shoulder radio when he noted Bennett's defensive stance.

"We need to make sure everyone is all right," Eddie responded.

"Everyone's fine. We were arguing and the stupid neighbors are overreacting," Bennett explained.

"This is not the first call to this address, Mr. Bennett. We want to speak to your wife," Jamie ordered.

"Why? I told you everything's fine," he replied indignantly.

"If everything's fine, then we'll be on our way. But we need to speak to your wife first," Eddie told him.

Bennett began to shut the door, but Jamie stuck his foot in the threshold as the crying drew closer and he caught movement behind the husband. A blonde woman, younger than Bennett, came into view. Mascara was running down her face and she clutched a toddler in her bruised arms. The child had his head buried in her neck, muffling his own whimpers.

Seeing the bruises on the woman's arms, Jamie had every intention of entering the apartment despite Bennett's refusal to allow them in. "Step aside, sir!" Jamie shoved the door open with his forearm, pushing Bennett off to the left and stepped into the small living room. He held his hand out to keep Bennett away from his wife and child.

Eddie followed him in and walked over to the woman, extending her arms to escort her out into the hallway and away from her husband. "Ma'am, why don't we step over here so I can talk to you for a moment."

"Hey, you have no right!" Bennett spat.

The woman glanced nervously between the officers and her husband, but did as she was told. As they made their way out, the little boy in her arms lifted his head, curious about the police officers.

Jamie's eyes widened when he saw the bruise on the little boy's cheek. "Son of a bitch," Jamie whispered.

That momentary distraction delayed him from turning back and questioning the husband. Bennett, however, didn't hesitate to slam his large hand onto the side of Jamie's neck, grasping it tightly when he saw his wife and child being led away from him. Jamie instinctively hunched down and pulled away from Bennett's clutches, feeling the man's nails digging into his skin as he tried to distance himself from him which only caused him to tumble to the ground.

"Reagan!" Eddie screamed and she pushed the woman and child away from the altercation and into the open doorway.

Bennett moved quickly around him, going after the two women and the little boy.

Eddie was drawing her weapon when her partner suddenly tackled Bennett low and forced him to the ground. Bennett bucked underneath him, grabbing onto Jamie's hair with one hand and throwing weak punches to the side of his face with the other. Eddie slid down next to them to grab onto on of Bennett's arm, giving Jamie a chance to climb up the struggling man's body. All Jamie saw was red and he began throwing his own repeated punches into Bennett's face.

"Reagan! Stop!" Eddie screamed and grabbed hold of her partner's arm before he could swing it back down for another strike.

Jamie blinked, seeing a dazed and bloodied Bennett below him. He was gasping for air and turned to see his partner staring at him with her own wide eyes. The woman and child were crying in the hallway and the sound of booted feet made its way up the stairs outside the open apartment door.

Jamie sat back on the floor, away from Bennett, grimacing as he touched his bruised face.

Renzulli and one of his probationary officers ran through the door as Eddie was rolling a disoriented Bennett onto his stomach, cuffing his hands behind his back.

"What the hell happened?" Renzulli asked while he squated down next to his old partner to examine his face. He saw a woman cowering in the hallway, and with the only other civilian on the ground and in handcuffs, he called for a bus. "You're bleeding," he said and tilted Jamie's head to get a better look at the gouge marks on his neck.

Jamie pulled away. "I'm fine," he snapped.

"Sure you are," Renzulli replied as he got back up with a groan and turned to look at Janko, expecting a sit rep from his officer.

Eddie jutted her chin out at their perp. "Jeff Bennett. Assaulted an officer when we tried to separate him and his wife," she explained quickly while glancing at her partner.

Jamie got to his feet and put his hand up to his neck, bringing it back down to find thin streaks of blood on his palm. He walked over to the far wall and leaned back against it and then hunched forward, placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.

What the hell had just happened? he asked himself.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Seargent Anthony Renzulli walked into the Major Case squad room at the Five-Four. It was well past the end of his tour and if not for some business he needed to address, he'd be on his way home to a much deserved beer, his comfy recliner and a Yankees' game on his beloved big screen. Renzulli found the desk he was looking for, but it was empty, so he scanned the rest of the squad room until he found the man he was looking for. He walked past a few detectives toward the interrogation room in the back that Detective Danny Reagan was exiting with a handcuffed perp, who he promptly handed off to an awaiting uniform.

"Hey, Reagan. You earning your paycheck?" He asked as he eyed the squirrelly man being led away to holding.

"That and then some, Sarge. What are you doing here? Come to watch me do some real police work?" Danny joked.

Renzulli's expression turned serious, not in much of a mood to carry on like he normally would with the older Reagan brother. "I need to talk to you. In private."

Danny's brow furrowed at the seargent's tone. "Yeah. Yeah, come on in here," he replied as he motioned Renzulli into the interrogation room.

Renzulli walked in and paced the room as Danny closed the door behind him. "So what's up, Sarge? You look like you got something on your mind." But he kind of knew in his gut what this was about.

"Yeah, well, I needed to talk to you about Jamie," Renzulli said and stared back at the detective as if that simple sentence explained all of his concerns.

"Okay. What about Jamie?" he asked.

Renzulli sighed. "He's not handling this thing with the Monroe kid very well. I'm starting to see cracks, Danny, and there's only so much I can do if he really crosses a line on the job," he revealed.

Danny placed his hands on his hips. "What do you mean, 'only so much you can do'?" he asked. "Tell me what's got you so worried."

Renzulli threw his hands up in the air in frustration. "I know the kid's not a talker to begin with, but he's practically a zombie these days. I don't think he's sleeping and he hasn't been hanging out with the guys since everything happened. Even the guys down at the gym haven't seen him in the ring," he explained.

Danny pressed his lips together and stared at the older man. He had noticed the forced efforts to appear normal at Sunday dinners but he figured the kid just needed his space to deal with everything. "He just needs time, Sarge. What he went through was pretty heavy."

"You don't think I know that, huh?" Renzulli shot back. "I was there when he pulled that other kid out of a burning building. But this?" Renzulli shook his head. "I can't begin to imagine what he's feeling with this."

"Did something happen?" Danny asked.

"He and Janko reported to a domestic today. Guy beat his wife and their little kid got in the way, took a hit to the face. Janko wouldn't say much cause she's not gonna throw her partner under the bus and I don't blame her for that. But she also doesn't know what to do with him."

"What happened, Sarge?" Danny asked a little more forcefully.

Renzulli leaned against the back wall. "Guy went after your brother. Scratched him up, took a few hits to the face, but he's okay. It was his reaction after that could have been a problem. Went off on the guy's face like it was one of his punching bags." Renzulli paused. "Guy may have deserved it, but if it wasn't for the evidence of the perp assaulting an officer, it would be difficult to ignore the amount of damage he did in return. And no one's gonna be able to protect him if he tiptoes further across that line again," he warned.

Danny looked down at the tabletop. He hoped that Jamie just needed a little time to move past this. But maybe that was just him not wanting to deal with this nightmare of a case, the fact that his kid brother was dealing with a lot more than he wanted to admit or even that the angry Jamie he'd encountered that first night had thrown him for a loop. He could accept the fact that he was the abrasive hot head of the family, but seeing it in his Harvard educated younger brother was disconcerting.

He couldn't let this bring his brother down.

Danny looked up at Renzulli. "I'll take care it, Sarge. I appreciate you looking out for him."

Jamie opened the door to his apartment, which, lately, had been a lot like Grand Central Station. "What are you doing here, Danny?"

"Hello to you, too," Danny shot back. He was hoping to get a more positive reaction to his visit, but no such luck. "Linda and the boys are out at a school thing. I brought a pizza so I could have dinner with my kid brother." He held the box up for show and to hopefully get an invite in.

Jamie rolled his eyes and opened the door wider to allow him entry. He was too tired to argue.

Danny turned his head and studied his brother as he walked past him, catching sight of the slight bruising on Jamie's face and the scratches along the side of his neck.

"Woah. Look at you. Looks like you got into a fight with Wolverine," Danny quipped. "What happened?" he asked.

"Nothing," Jamie said as he headed to the living room where he already had a scotch waiting for him.

Danny followed him and placed the pizza box on the coffee table. He removed his suit jacket and took a seat on the sofa next to his brother. "That doesn't look like nothing, kid. You have trouble on the job today?"

Jamie glanced at his brother. It was a little too much of a coincidence that he shows up with dinner after tour on the one day he nearly beat the crap out of a perp. "I don't want to play any games, Danny. You're here 'cause you already know what happened today. So who came and told you I screwed up, huh?" He glared at Danny, before continuing. "Just say what you want to say, get it off your chest and go home because I'm not really up for company tonight."

Danny was a little stunned, again, by the anger. "Jamie, listen, we're just worried about you, kid," he said.

"Nothing to worry about. I'll get over it. But that's not gonna happen if I got everyone harassing me all the time!" Jamie snapped.

"No one's trying to harass you, kid," Danny assured him before taking a deep breath. He turned around on the couch to fully face his little brother. "I know no one can imagine what it was like -"

"What do you mean?" Jamie interrupted. "Of course you can! You got full color snap shots of that damn afternoon, of every useless thing I did -"

"You did what you could, Jamie!" Danny shouted, hoping he could get through to him. He stared at his brother. "No one blames you for Aidan! You've got to stop blaming yourself because the only one responsible is behind bars."

"Yeah, awaiting trial. That's just great," he said with a humorless laugh. Jamie got up and grabbed a sheet of paper off of the dining room table and walked back to the sofa where he dropped it in Danny's lap.

Danny read the document, seeing that it was a subpoena for a witness deposition in the criminal case against Brian Monroe.

"Cause it's not bad enough the bastard killed his kid, now he can plead not guilty and turn this into a circus. Now I can gotta give his defense attorney a deposition and relive everything yet again in anticipation of the real fun - when I get called to testify. I have not turned on the television or read the paper since this happened. What's it gonna be like when the trial starts, huh?"

"I'm sorry, kid," Danny said. He hadn't realized how badly this had affected his brother.

Jamie scrubbed his hands across the top of his head. "Do you know I can't walk by a parked car without looking in the window?"

Danny stared back, not quite sure how to respond to that.

"I can't help it," Jamie whispered as he shook his head. "I terrified I'm going to come across that again, Danny." Jamie's eyes teared up and he clamped his mouth shut before he lost it. He was a freaking cop. He saw people doing terrible things to each other almost everyday. But this? He just could not shake it and he didn't know why.

After a minute, he said, "And today, when I saw the little boy with the bruise on his face, I froze and let that guy get the jump on me. But when he went after Janko and his wife and kid, I saw red and started to punch the hell out of him because all I saw was Monroe's face. I didn't do worse because Eddie pulled me away." Jamie pressed the palms of his hands into his weary eyes.

"Nothing's gonna make this better overnight, but it will get better. You've got to believe me. Just don't shut us out, because you can't keep this bottled up or you'll explode again like you did today. Believe me, I speak from experience," Danny said. "And Brian Monroe is not worth screwing up your career or your life," he finished.

Jamie dropped down onto the couch, tired and deflated. "Yeah."

Danny exhaled. This was a start.

Frank looked up from his paperwork when he heard a quiet knock on his office door.

A second later, Jamie's face appeared through the gap in the door with a strained expression. "Hey, Dad," he greeted.

"Hey, Jamie. Glad you're here. I was starting to get hungry," Frank said as he got up and walked around his desk.

Jamie closed the door and stayed put as he stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Don't get calls to come up here very often," he replied with a small smirk.

Frank pursed his lips when he got a good look at the shadows on his face and the marks on his neck. "Heard you had some trouble at a domestic yesterday," he said.

Jamie gazed at the floor. "Who'd you talk to? Renzulli or Danny?" he asked.

"You know officer-involved incidents come across my desk," Frank replied as Jamie looked at him again. "And I spoke to your brother," he added.

Jamie nodded, but said nothing.

"I wasn't lying. I really am hungry and wanted to eat lunch with you, so grab a seat," Frank instructed as he nodded to the food laid out in the sitting area.

Jamie took a seat on the couch as Frank got situated in the arm chair.

Frank noticed the way his son sat hunched forward, wringing his hands together. "Jamie, you know there's no shame in admitting you're having trouble with all of this. Anyone would. We're all here, ready to listen and help you through this."

"I know," he responded quietly.

"Do you really?" Frank asked.

"Yeah, Dad, I do. Now," he admitted. "I talked to Danny some. It helped. Slept better last night."

"That's good, Son." Frank took a breath as he decided how he wanted to broach a request that came through his office yesterday. "Jamie, Aidan's mother, Melissa Newman, she's planned the funeral mass for the day after tomorrow."

Jamie was surprised. "I thought it would've happened already," he said.

"Well, the ME's investigation held everything up and she really didn't have the means. But with all of the media attention, people have come forward to help her with the costs to give him a proper burial," Frank explained.

"That's good," Jamie said.

"Yeah, it is. She called the department to ask that we let you know about it. She wanted to know if you could attend."

Jamie's face turned pale.

Frank leaned forward. "She was grateful for your efforts."

Jamie blinked repeatedly. "I, uh, I didn't even consider..." Jamie was at a loss for words. "I don't know if I should," he said. He looked away, biting the inside of his cheek nervously. He didn't know if he could bear it, but he also didn't think he could turn down the mother's request.

Frank could see the indecision in Jamie's eyes. "No one can force you. But I think it could offer you some closure, Son," Frank said gently.

Jamie looked his father in the eyes and nodded as he swallowed thickly. He was probably right.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Erin had just finished up a very frustrating meeting with a fellow ADA and was surprised to find her brother pacing the length of her office. "Hey. What are you doing here?" she asked.

Danny stopped in his tracks and turned to face his sister. "Hey," he greeted her, but quickly moved on to the reason he was here. "Wanted to see if you know what's going on with the Monroe case. Did you know they're gonna depose Jamie?"

Erin sighed and made her way to her desk, dropping the file she held in her hands onto the table top as she heavily in her chair. "Yeah. I just got done meeting with Dillard and he filled me in. Defense attorney didn't even run the subpoena through the department's court liaison like he should have. The schmuck had Jamie personally served yesterday. Dillard was raising holy hell with the guy for not following procedure and harassing a witness," she told him.

Danny sat in one of Erin's guest chairs. "This guy really planning on taking this to trial?" he asked.

"He's facing murder charges. He thinks he's got nothing to lose and his attorney's going all out," Erin answered. "We're still early in discovery. We'll know soon enough what direction they're planning to take this," she advised.

Danny's stared back at his sister in disbelief. "TARU got evidence off his computer that he was looking up 'kids' and 'hot cars' on search engines the day Aidan died and the kid had other injuries. The guy's guilty as hell," Danny argued.

"I know that, Danny," she confirmed. "And we expect he'll say that was purely coincidental in light of the similar case that's been in the news out in the Midwest and find someone else to blame for the rest."

"We can't let this guy get away with this," he said adamantly.

Erin slouched back in her chair, frustrated. She wanted nothing more than for Monroe to rot in jail, but she also wanted this trial to go away for her little brother's sake. "The only thing we need right now to nail him completely is hard proof of how long Aidan was left in that car, that it was a hell of a lot longer than the few minutes he claims. And knowing what he was doing will help too. Traffic and security cameras didn't get us anywhere in that area and we got nothing else to pinpoint his whereabouts and discredit his statement," she explained.

The same frustration was evident on Danny's face. "I know. He said he went to visit a friend and the guy wasn't home so he went right back to his car. We were able to confirm the friend was out of town, so that backed up that part of his story, but he must have gone somewhere. Jamie and the first officer on the scene smelled alcohol on him. He had to have gone somewhere to drink, we just haven't been able to place him any where that serves alcohol in that neighborhood."

"We find that and we got him," Erin said while eyeing her older brother.

Danny gave his sister a look of determination. "Baez and I will get back out there. I'll find that proof cause there's no way I'm letting that scumbag have any chance at walking."

Jamie and Frank arrived at the church about ten minutes before the start of Aidan's funeral service. They'd walked in quickly, ignoring the media and cameras that had set up shop across the street. Frank led Jamie up the center aisle and into a pew near the middle of the church, moving in just enough where Jamie sat at the end. Melissa Newman didn't have family in the city, but the church was almost full. All sorts of people had come out to pay their respects to Aidan despite never having met him or his mother.

Jamie looked to his left when he caught movement out of the corner of his eye. Danny and Erin entered their pew and sent him tight smiles as they settled in next to their father.

Soon enough, the opening hym began and the congregation stood as the priest led the processional down the aisle. Jamie's stomach clenched at the sight of Aidan's mother, Melissa, carrying a small earn and flanked by a few women her own age. Jamie had never met her, but she was younger than he expected; she didn't appear to be more than twenty-three or twenty-four. As she approached, her eyes met his, showing recognition within them. She gave him a soft, watery smile, Jamie's own eyes misting in return. He nodded subtly as she continued past him.

The funeral mass proceeded as any other with the blessings, prayers and readings that he, unfortunately, found all too familiar. Jamie closed his eyes during certain parts of the mass, centering himself in silent prayer. His father had been right. He'd never forget that day, but he needed to try to find peace in knowing he had done all he could to help that little boy, that Aidan Monroe would be laid to rest and that his death wasn't on him. He wasn't certain when both his head and his heart would come to understand that fully, but regardless, he'd help make sure there was justice for Aidan.

XxxxxxxX

 _Several weeks later..._

"Hey, Dad."

Frank looked up from his laptop to find his daughter walking through the kitchen door and sent a smile her way.

"Hey, sweetheart," Frank replied, a soft smile gracong his face. "What are you doing here?"

Erin dropped her purse on the counter and made her way to the kitchen table. "Nicky's out with Jack and I didn't feel like going home to an empty apartment," she explained.

Frank studied his daughter. "Tough case?" he asked.

Erin smiled tentatively and sat down next to him. "You could say that," she confirmed. "Not really my case, though."

"Ah." Frank knew immediately by the look on her face what she was referring to. "Monroe."

Erin pursed her lips and nodded.

"Thought the DA said there were too many Reagans involved already?" Frank asked as he closed his laptop.

"He did. But I can't stay away," she replied.

"I know you can't," Frank acknowledged and slid his glass of scotch in her direction. "So what's going on?" he inquired.

Erin took a sip and stared at the glass. "Monroe and his attorney are really going full steam ahead against the murder charge," she revealed.

Frank leaned back in his chair. "What could possibly be his defense? Who knows what else he did to that boy in the short time he had him."

Erin's eyes shifted away from her father and she took a deep breath.

"What's really going on, Erin?" Frank asked as he removed his glasses.

"They're disputing the ME's findings," she shared. "Obviously, his first defense is that Aidan didn't die of heat stroke as a result of being left in the car because he didn't leave him long enough for that to happen, according to Monroe."

"How can they dispute that? He just mysteriously and suddenly dies?" Frank asked, astounded by that ridiculous defense.

"That's what he's claiming," Erin replied.

"Come again?"

"They're claiming that Aidan was a sickly child to begin with, that it's evidenced in his medical records and that contributed to his death, caused him to go into some sort of respiratory distress. They're even throwing SIDS in to the mix." Erin folded her hands in front of her as she tried to maintain control of her own emotions.

Frank was stunned. "That's a pretty creative defense," he said.

"They're grasping at straws, but they found an expert witness that will testify that everything described in the ME's report is also consistent with what they're claiming - the respiratory distress, elevated temperature and organ failure. They're also pointing to the fact that Aidan was premature, small for his size, that and the fact that he had recently gotten over a respiratory illness are also suspected factors of SIDS. They're going to try everything they can to plant a seed of doubt."

Frank shook his head. "Amazing how you can pay someone with a degree to say anything you need," he groused.

"But that's not the worst of it," she revealed, her voice low and dejected.

"Can this get any worse?" he shot back.

"It actually can," she confirmed. "They're claiming the bruising on Aidan's abdomen and the small laceration on his liver that the ME found is consistent with improperly administering CPR and that it contributed to his death. That but for the improper CPR performed by the first responder, Aidan could have been revived and he would not have suffered internal bleeding from the laceration that their expert claims contributed to his death."

"Son of a bitch," he whispered. "ME listed cause of death as heat stroke," he reiterated.

"I know, Dad. But they're also using the other injuries noted in the autopsy to spin their story," she replied.

"Your brother's coming to terms with all of this. He's been more himself the last several weeks, ever since the funeral. He even told me he felt okay after the deposition. Now Monroe's going to try to place the blame on him?"

Erin picked at the edge of a file her father had sitting next to his computer. "Dillard told me he was a little suspicious as to why they spent so much time questioning Jamie on the CPR he administered, but it wasn't until he received the report from their expert that he realized why."

Frank's jaw clenched and he breathed in deeply.

"Danny's been working non-stop trying to find everything on Monroe's whereabouts that day. We get that, we can discredit everything they're trying to claim," Erin said.

"Well, if I have to make sure he has every resource he needs to find it, so be it," Frank proclaimed with a slight edge to his voice. He didn't care if it looked improper to anyone, but he wasn't letting Brian Monroe turn the tables on his son so he could get away with murder.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Tell me again why we're back here? Didn't we already interview this guy?" Maria asked as she followed her partner up to the third floor of an apartment building.

"We did. But we're missing something. You and I both know that Monroe left his kid in the car a lot longer than the few minutes he's claiming." Danny stood at the top of the staircase, looking right and left until he found the apartment he was looking for.

"Yeah. Agreed, but we haven't been able to find anyone who can place him anywhere in this neighborhood on the day of the incident. And we confirmed this Mathis guy was out of town on that day."

Danny stopped in front of 3A and turned to look at his partner. "Maybe so, but I think we're missing something, so we're gonna start right back at the beginning until we find it."

"All right," Maria conceded. She knew why he was working this case so hard, in between all of the other cases they already had; there was no point in arguing. She would probably do the same. And she could only guess where the approval for all of the overtime they'd put in on this case came from.

Danny knocked on the door to the apartment and waited.

Ray Mathis opened the door, surprised to find the two detectives from his friend's case. "Detectives? Can I help you?"

"Yeah, Mr. Mathis. Could we speak to you for a moment? We just have a couple of questions to ask you so we can tie up some loose ends on your buddy's case," Danny said.

Mathis stepped back and opened the door wide to allow the detectives in. "Sure. Come on in. I don't know what else I can offer. Like I told you before, I wasn't home the day Brian came around, when everything with the baby happened."

"You did. We're just trying to dot our I's and cross our T's. I'm sure you can understand," Danny said as he stepped into the apartment.

Mathis closed the door and motioned them to the couch while he sat down in a side chair. "Okay. Ask away."

"We may have asked this already, but did you ever meet Aidan? Did Brian talk about him?" Danny asked.

"I never met the baby. Brian told me about the mother when she got pregnant and told him it was his. Brian said it had been a casual thing and she had a lot of issues and said he was certain it wasn't his kid," Mathis answered.

"Okay. Did he ever mention the baby or the mother again after that?"

Mathis shook his head and shrugged. "Once in a while. He'd mention how pissed he was that she was trying to come after him for child support. Said she was always dumping the kid on him because she thought he was his responsibility too. Said they were even trying to get him to do a DNA test, but he didn't want to play their game."

"That's odd, no?" Maria asked.

"What do you mean?" Mathis responded.

"Well, if he's so certain it's not his kid, why not do the DNA test to prove it?" Maria reasoned.

Mathis shook his head, trying to think of how best to respond. "Listen, he's my friend and all. We'd get together and I was usually his sounding board and vice versa. That whole situation seemed messy and I never really wanted to stir the pot."

"I take it you didn't agree with his position," Danny pressed on.

Mathis released a soft laugh and looked away from the detectives. "If it were me, I'd probably do the test and get it over with. But Brian was certain it wasn't his kid and I had no reason to question him. I assumed he had it all under control cause I hadn't heard him bring it up in a while." He turned back to the detectives. "Brian's not a bad guy. I know you all charged him with that baby's death, but he wouldn't have done that."

"Ray?"

Mathis spun around in his chair when a woman stepped out of the bedroom behind him. The blonde eyed the two detectives sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Jen, these are the two detectives that are working Brian's case," he explained and turned back to face Danny and Maria.

The woman stopped in her tracks and paled slightly at the mention of Monroe's name. Mathis hadn't seen it, but Danny and Maria didn't miss her reaction at all.

Danny stood to greet the woman. "I'm Detective Reagan. This is Detective Baez. And you are?" he asked.

"This is my girlfriend, Jennifer," Mathis responded for her.

Danny reached out to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you, Jennifer. What's your last name?"

Jennifer extended her own hand. "Davies."

"Do you two live together?" Maria asked the startled woman.

Jennifer stood next to her boyfriend and crossed her arms in front of her. "Uh, no. I don't live here," she replied with a tight smile.

"So you weren't here on the day that Aidan Monroe passed?"

"No," she answered quickly.

"Like I said, I was out of town. That was actually the day I flew out - that morning. Jen was here, but she left for work not long after I went to the airport. And I didn't get back until a few days later," Mathis added.

"So I take it you have your own key?" Maria asked.

"Yeah." Jennifer's face went from pale to flushed rather quickly.

Danny reached into his jacket and pulled out a pen and small notepad. "What time would you have left for work that day?"

"Why's that important?" Mathis asked suspiciously.

"Mr. Mathis, we are just trying to get a clearer picture of Brian's whereabouts that day. He said he came by here for just a minute and left when he got no answer. We just want complete confirmation of that. It would be in his best interest, obviously, if we have that," Maria responded, then both she and Danny looked up at the woman, waiting for her response.

"Okay. Makes sense," Mathis answered, agreeing it would be helpful to Brian.

"Probably around 8:30," Jennifer said.

"Probably?" Danny asked. "You wouldn't be certain about that?" he looked up from his notebook to eye the woman.

"I start work at nine. I wouldn't have left later than that and still made it there in time," she said a little tersely.

Danny nodded. "Where do you work?"

"Downtown. I'm a receptionist at a realtor's office."

"What's the name?" Maria asked.

Jennifer looked down at her boyfriend, her eyes a little wide. His eyebrows wrinkled somewhat at her hesitation.

She looked back at the detectives and responded, "Dalton Moore Realty."

"Great. So you went to work until what, like five-ish?" Danny asked.

"Six. I work until six," she responded as she averted her eyes and hugged herself tightly.

"And you would have gone back to your own place after that?" Danny continued.

"Yeah. Like Ray said, he was out of town," she answered.

"Okay. Great. You've been a lot of help," Danny said with a forced smile.

xxxx

Danny and Maria walked into Dalton Moore Realty the very next day at 9:30 a.m., not surprised at all by the shocked expression on Jennifer Davies' face. She was in the middle of a call when they approached her desk and the young woman stuttered back a response to the caller before transferring them.

"Detectives. What are you doing here?"

Danny was thumbing through some color printouts of listings that were laid out along the reception counter and cringed at the prices. "Not looking for real estate, I can promise you that."

Maria half rolled her eyes at her partner. "You seemed a little guarded when we spoke to you last night with Ray around. Wanted to check in with you again about the time you reported for work on the day in question."

Davies stared back at them with wide eyes. "I told you..."

"Yeah, we know what you told us. But you seemed a little unsure." Danny looked over her shoulder at the other employees buzzing around the office. "Do you by chance have an office manager or a boss who has a timesheet or something that would confirm your hours that day?"

"Ah, I..." Jennifer stammered.

Maria leaned against the counter and spoke softly to the woman. "Listen, Jennifer. We can make this simple, either you come clean with us about whatever it is you're not telling us or we get your office involved. Either way, you're going to end up at the precinct for questioning."

"Can we please talk in there?" she asked as she motioned over to a small conference room.

"After you," Danny replied and followed the two women into the room, closing the door behind him.

Jennifer walked to the other end of the table and inhaled deeply. Danny shot his partner a quick look.

"I didn't come into work that day," Jennifer whispered.

"Come again?" Danny asked.

"I said I didn't come into work that day," she repeated.

"You stayed at Ray's didn't you?" Maria asked.

"Yes," Jennifer confirmed.

"Was Brian Monroe with you?"

"Yes."

"Walk me through that day," Danny instructed.

"Brian and I have been seeing each other," Jennifer confessed. She shook her head and crossed her arms. "Ray left on his trip early that morning and I called Brian. We were supposed to meet up. He was closer to Ray's than my place so he was going to come over. I waited over an hour and then he tells me that his ex had dropped off her kid at his place. Said he was going to find somewhere to leave the kid and to hang tight. I ended up waiting pretty much all day."

"Wow. You must really be into him," Maria said sarcastically.

"What time did he show, Jennifer?" Danny asked.

"It was just after three. But I'm not sure exactly what time," she responded.

"Is this another one of your 'approximations'," Danny sniped.

"No, it was a little after three, I just don't know the exact time. I wasn't looking at a clock when he knocked on the door, but I had the TV on, flipping channels and a little before he came over I had it on the news channel and it said three o'clock in the corner."

"So he comes over, what do you two do?"

A look of guilt washed across her face.

"Well, I think we can guess what they were doing," Maria sniped back.

"Were you two drinking?" Danny followed up.

"Yes."

"What time did he leave?" he asked..

"It was five. He left and I went into the bedroom to shower. I remember seeing the clock on my way to the bathroom."

Danny and Maria looked at each other. They had him.

Danny moved to the door and said, "We're going to need you to come down to the squad. We'll have to take your formal statement, so you may want to let your boss know you'll be missing another day."


	10. Chapter 10

This chapter is quite long, but I did not want to break it up. :)

All information on CPR is from the web, hopefully it's right.

Chapter 9

"So what time do you have to be in Court tomorrow?" Eddie asked as she topped her burger with the other half of her bun.

Jamie took a sip from his water bottle and put it back down on the table. "I have to report at nine. Supposedly, I'll be the first witness of the day, but you know how those things go. I think Danny's on the stand today," he said as he dug into his salad.

"I find it hard to believe Monroe didn't agree to a plea deal," Eddie commented before she took her first bite.

"Not at first and he was offered one. But when the DA got proof of how long he'd left Aidan in the car, he was ready to throw the book at him. They weren't going to make any deals with him," he said.

Eddie swallowed and looked up at Jamie. "You gonna be okay testifying?" she asked. She had her old partner back and hoped this trial wasn't going to throw him for a loop again.

Jamie wiped his mouth and glanced back at her. "I got no choice. Erin said the defense attorney really went after the woman Monroe was messing around with, so I'll have to be ready for them to try and turn the tables on me. I'm all for throwing the book at him, even if I have to go on the stand." He shrugged as he dug back into his food. "But still, I can't wait for this trial to be done with, you know?"

"Yeah."

/

"I have no further questions, Your Honor," ADA Peter Dillard addressed the Court and walked back to the prosecution's table.

Jamie sat on the witness stand dressed in full uniform, looking calm and collected despite the fact that he now expected a tougher cross from Monroe's attorney. Dillard had just finished his direct examination, going through Jamie's discovery of Aidan Monroe in the vehicle, his subsequent attempt to resuscitate the infant and his encounter with Monroe at the scene. Despite the evidence as to the amount of time that Aidan spent in the car alone, Monroe and his attorney were proceeding with their defense; they had no choice. So Jamie was prepared for them to be on the attack.

Defense attorney Don Teitel stood from his seat, leaving his client, who sat casually in his chair, and approached the witness. "Officer Reagan. Good morning."

"Morning," Jamie responded automatically.

"Are you certified in CPR and first aid?" Teitel began his questioning.

Jamie glanced at his brother and sister in the gallery and turned to the attorney. "Yes, I am," Jamie confirmed.

Teitel leaned against the edge of the witness stand and crossed his arms. "Where did you get your certification?"

"Through the Department," he responded.

"And when were you certified?"

"When I went through the academy, less five years ago and re-certified once since then per departmental policy," Jamie advised.

Teitel remained in his casual stance. "Prior to discovering Aidan Monroe, had you ever performed CPR on anyone else?"

"Yes."

"Adult or child?" Teitel asked.

"Adults," Jamie answered. He had a feeling about where this particular line of questioning was headed.

"Adults, plural? How many in total?" Teitel inquired, his eyebrows arching up as if surprised.

Jamie had no doubt he'd dug up every bit of information he could on him and his service with the department. "Two."

"And how did those work out for you?" Teitel asked.

Jamie suppressed any display of emotion to that question.

Before he could answer, Dillard stood from his chair. "Objection, Your Honor. That has no bearing on this case."

Teitel faced the judge and explained, "Your Honor, we bring into question the way CPR was administered to the infant. Officer Reagan's training and past experience has complete bearing on the issues at hand."

"I'll allow it." The judge looked at Jamie over his reading glasses. "You may answer, Officer Reagan."

Teitel looked at Jamie expectantly.

Jamie stared back at the smug attorney.

"Do you need me to repeat the question, Officer?" Teitel asked sweetly.

"No," Jamie paused for a breath, "I was able to revive a young woman, but the adult male died as a result of the injuries he sustained in his incident."

"Or so you assume," Teitel added.

"Objection, Your Honor," Dillard said forcefully, flying out of his chair upon hearing the snide remark.

"Sustained. You will stick to questioning the witness, Mr. Teitel," the Judge ordered.

"Yes, Your Honor," Teitel held up a hand apologetically before addressing Jamie. "So, you've administered CPR to two adults in the past. Aidan Monroe was the only infant you've ever administered CPR to?"

"Yes." Jamie interlaced his fingers on his lap to keep from clenching them into fists.

Teitel took a few steps back from the witness stand to get a better view of both Jamie and the jury. "In your CPR certification training, do they teach you the specific techniques for administering CPR to an adult, a child and an infant?"

"They do." Jamie took a peak over at his sister and brother, noting the irritation on both their faces.

"And all three require different techniques, correct?"

"Somewhat."

"And how are they different?"

Jamie shifted in his seat as he prepared to answer. "The difference mainly has to do with the chest compressions."

"How so?" Teitel asked dumbly.

"For an infant, you use two fingers, for a child, the heal of one hand and for an adult, both hands and the amount of pressure you exert for each is different," Jamie clarified.

"What else did they teach you? By that I mean, does placement of the fingers and hands differ for an infant, child and adult?"

"A little," Jamie replied.

"How so?"

"For an infant, the fingers are placed in the center of the chest, just below the level of the nipples. For an adult and child, it's in the center of the chest."

"And was Aidan fully dressed when you pulled him from the vehicle?"

"He was clothed," Jamie confirmed.

Teitel strolled past the jury box and turned back to face Jamie when he reached the defense table. "Now on the day in question, I understand that you worked a full day shift, is that correct?"

"That's correct," Jamie responded.

"What time did you get off duty?"

"Three thirty pm," he advised.

"What did you do after that?" Teitel asked.

Jamie folded his hands in his lap to keep from fidgeting. "I went home, changed and went out for a run."

"Were you just starting your run or were you finishing it up when you came across Aidan?"

"I was on my way back to my apartment," Jamie answered.

"That would have been at about five pm, is that correct?"

"Yes."

Teitel's eyebrows arched up at his answer. "Between getting off duty and going home, that doesn't make for a very long run. You seem very fit, Officer Reagan. Were you out for a quick run or were you heading back for any specific reason?"

"I turned around sooner that I normally would have."

"Why is that?"

Jamie eyed the attorney and took a breath before answering. He was trying his best to not show his irritation at this line of questioning. "I was tired and it was incredibly hot that day, so I headed home."

"Yes, well." Teitel smiled at his reference to the hot day. "So you come across Aidan, and you stated that you attempted to get a reaction from the child at first, correct?"

"Correct."

Teitel shrugged. "Why was that? Those could have been a few wasted precious seconds."

Jamie's brow creased at the ridiculous question so he answered it as honestly and simply as he could. "I was unsure of what I was seeing when I came across the car." Jamie glanced over to the jury, all of whom were paying close attention to his every word. "I wasn't expecting to see a baby in the backseat of a locked car."

"And then you try the door handles. On both sides?"

"Yes," Jamie confirmed.

"Another few seconds, and then you look for something to break the window and you pulled the baby out, but remind me, did you immediately pull him out or did you do something else?"

"At first, I spoke to him and touched his head, chest and stomach to try and get a response out of him."

"Okay, so another few seconds for that."

Danny shifted restlessly in his seat and his jaw clenched slightly at Teitel's ridiculous insinuation.

"So then you pull him out. And you testified a short time ago that you then held him to your chest. You were continuing to try to rouse him?" the attorney asked from where he now stood - in front of the witness stand once again.

Jamie looked Teitel directly in the eyes. "Yes," he answered.

"So that's another few seconds, at least. And then you lay him on the ground and start CPR?"

"Yes."

"And when you administered CPR, did you use the two-finger technique?" Teitel asked.

"I did."

Teitel lifted his left hand and began to count on his fingers the sequence of events they'd just discussed. "So, by this point, you were on your way home, exhausted from a full day patrolling the streets, you cut your run short because you were tired, come across the infant, try to get a response from him, break into the car, try again for a response and begin administering CPR. How focused were you on providing the proper technique to Aidan?"

"I was very focused on what I was doing," Jamie said adamantly.

"Okay. You said you administered CPR until medics arrived. How many cycles of compressions and rescue breaths did you administer?"

Jamie pressed his lips together and shook his head. "I'm not sure."

Teitel shrugged and shook his head dramatically. "How's that possible? You just said that you were focused on the task at hand."

"I was focused on the technique, on giving the compressions and the rescue breaths. No response came from the baby and I just kept at it," Jamie pointed out.

Teitel had a look of bewilderment across his face. "But you have no idea how many times you did it?"

"No."

"I understand that the medics had to push you away from the child when they arrived. Did you even realize they were there before they pulled you away?"

"No," Jamie stated.

"So you weren't aware of your surroundings?"

Jamie glared at Teitel. "I was focused on giving a Aidan Monroe CPR in an attempt to revive him. That was my main concern at the time."

"So that would be a no?"

"No," Jamie said, straining to hold back on releasing frustrated sigh. He looked in Monroe's direction and the man smirked at him from his seat.

"Understood. So, you also mentioned that he was fully clothed. Where did you position your hand on his chest?"

Jamie looked back at the attorney. "It was two fingers and I placed them where I was supposed to - in the middle of his chest, just below his nipples."

"If he was clothed, how certain were you that you had your fingers in the right area."

"He was only wearing a thin cotton jumper. I could identify the proper area," Jamie replied firmly.

"You're certain about that?" Teitel asked.

"Yes."

Teitel smiled smugly. "Really? That's odd, because you couldn't answer a simple question like how many cycles of CPR you administered, but you can recall that you placed your fingers in the proper area?"

"Objection, Your Honor. Asked and answered and Mr. Teitel is badgering the witness," Dillard said.

"Sustained. Please continue, Mr. Teitel, and if I have to remind you to stick to your questioning of the witness without your commentary again, I will hold you in contempt," the judge warned.

"Yes, Your Honor," Teitel responded apologetically. He walked back to the defense table and pulled out two large demonstrative blow-ups that he then placed on tripods facing the jury and the witness.

"I would like refer to defense exhibits eight and nine."

Jamie averted his eyes momentarily. He now faced a large blow-up of one of the eyewitness photos - the side view of him doing chest compressions on Aidan. The other was a close-up shot of Aidan's abdomen taken by the ME. It showed some light discoloration at the center of his chest and darker bruising below that.

Teitel pointed to the first blow-up. "Now, this first photo is of you performing the chest compressions on Aidan, correct?"

Jamie inhaled deeply as he looked up at the exhibit. "Yes."

"Does it appear to you from this photograph that you had your fingers positioned in the correct place?" Teitel asked.

"Yes," Jamie answered.

"How can you tell, exactly? I mean, it's a side view," Teitel pointed out.

"Because I know I had my them positioned correctly," Jamie responded without a doubt.

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes," Jamie confirmed.

"You say you know where you positioned them, but strictly based on the photo alone, does it clearly depict your fingers at the center of the chest and, as you explained, just below the level of the nipples?"

Jamie breathed in through his nose and said, "Not from that angle."

"So that's a no?" Teitel sought clarification.

"No," Jamie answered calmly despite wanting to punch the smarmy man in the face.

"So from this photo, it's possible you had your fingers much lower than what you claim?"

"I can't say based on that photo."

"Well, in this photo from the medical examiner," Teitel pointed to the next exhibit, "I see dark bruising here on the middle of Aidan's torso a good few inches below his nipples, encroaching on his abdomen. Would you agree?"

"Yes." Jamie clenched his jaw at the attorney's complete disregard for the discoloration higher on the chest.

"Bruising that would be consistent with the improper positioning of your fingers during CPR."

"Objection, Your Honor. The question calls for the witness to speculate on the cause of the abdominal injury," Dillard said.

"Sustained."

"All right. Just a few more questions, Officer Reagan." Teitel turned his back to the photos, but remained right in front of them, ensuring that the Jamie and the jurors would keep them in their sights. "I understand that after Aidan was taken away by ambulance, you accosted the Defendant on the street and again at the precinct when he was brought in for questioning. Is that true?"

"Yes." Jamie sat forward.

"Okay. It was my understanding that you pushed Mr. Monroe to the ground at the scene, is that correct?"

"Yes," Jamie confirmed.

"And at the precinct, you shoved him against the wall and advised him rather insensitively that his son had died, is that correct?"

"Yes," Jamie replied curtly. He knew Teitel wanted to get a rise out of him and he was close to getting one.

"You had to be physically restrained both times?" Teitel inquired.

"Yes," Jamie replied.

"So this this aggressive behavior was witnessed by your fellow officers?"

Jamie glared at the attorney. "Yes."

"And were there any repercussions for your behavior? Any disciplinary action?"

"I was reprimanded."

"Just a reprimand. Nothing else?" Teitel asked.

"No."

"It seems that you already formed an opinion about Mr. Monroe. Were you feeling any guilt because maybe you failed to administer the CPR properly?" Teitel asked.

Jamie pressed his lips together again and glared back at the cocky attorney.

"Objection, Your Honor," Dillard said from his seated position.

"Withdrawn, Your Honor." Teitel smiled smugly. "I have no further questions."

"Mr. Dillard. Redirect?" the Judge asked.

Dillard stood from his chair. "No, Your Honor. The prosecution is done with this witness."

"Officer Reagan, you are excused. I'm going to call a fifteen minute recess," the Judge said and then slammed his gavel down on his desk before leaving the bench.

Jamie stepped off the witness stand and made his way between the defense and prosecution's tables, avoiding eye contact with Teitel and Monroe. He approached Danny and Erin, his face stoney and shoulders tense.

Danny put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed it reassuringly. "You did good up there, kid. I would have punched the smug look off that bastard's face."

"You almost did yesterday," Erin commented as she looked sympathetically at her little brother. "You did great, Jamie."

Jamie shook his head and wiped a hand down his face. "I need some air and I got to go back on patrol. I'll see you later." He didn't want to get into it now. He just needed to get away from the courthouse and regroup, so he walked off, leaving his brother and sister to stare at his retreating back in concern.


	11. Chapter 11

_Last chapter. Posting early because I am ready to finish up with this story._

Chapter 11

Jamie pulled his car up along one of the many winding roads through Green-Wood Cemetery searching for the section the woman at the office had directed him to. He'd meant to come out here sooner after the verdict, but he'd gotten caught up in one thing or another and had just never made it out.

Jamie came to a stop once he found the area he was looking for, putting the car in park and shutting off the engine, but he remained in his seat. He stared out across the large green expanse nestled in the middle of Brooklyn and realized he was just trying to kid himself. The reason he hadn't come out here wasn't because he'd been working or busy with anything else, but because like that first day after everything happened back in August, he'd wanted to avoid it. The trial should have been the end of it, but it all just kept niggling at the back of his head. The funeral had provided some closure. The trial, however, had reopened a wound that had managed to slowly heal and, although, he hadn't reverted into an angry, hollow shell of himself, it still weighed on his heart.

Despite the fact that the jury found Brian Monroe guilty of the murder charges, closure for him was not only seeing Aidan's father pay for his crimes, but accepting fully that he did all he could for the boy and that he couldn't take blame for someone else's actions. He'd always wish his help would have come sooner, but he knew there was nothing else he could have done differently to change the outcome.

Jamie grabbed a small bouquet of flowers from the passenger's seat and stepped out of the car. There was a chill in the late fall air and he zipped his jacket up just a little further to block it out. Jamie made his way to the front of the car and studied the small map from the cemetery office. He looked to the left and spotted the newly placed headstone about fifty feet away, surrounded by squares of recently laid sod that stood out against the rest of the lawn. He walked across the lawn and studied the granite headstone adorned with an etching of an angel.

Aidan James Monroe

December 2, 2013 - August 13, 2014

May the Angels Lead You into Paradise

Jamie crouched down in front of the headstone, placing the bouquet against the base. He remained there, going through the lines of the hymn in his head.

"Officer Reagan?"

Jamie startled and got up quickly, turning in the direction of the voice. He was surprised to find Melissa Newman approaching and nervously clutching a small bear in her hands.

Equally nervous, Jamie stuffed his hands into his pockets. He didn't expect to run into anyone here. "Melissa." Jamie glanced at the headstone quickly and turned back to Aidan's mother. "Sorry. I, uh, I just wanted to pay my respects."

Melissa gave him a small smile, despite the profound sadness in her eyes. "I appreciate that." She came to a stop beside him. "I appreciate everything you tried to do. I never got a chance to tell you that." Melissa looked down at the plush toy in her hands. "I never got a chance to thank you," she said softly.

"You don't need to -"

"Officer Reagan -"

"It's Jamie," he corrected her.

"Jamie," Melissa repeated and nodded. "I struggled to keep myself afloat with Aidan. Battled with Brian to try and make him want to be the father Aidan deserved to have. I thought that if he would just spend time with him, force him to spend time with him, he'd fall in love with him the way I did." She got teary-eyed. "It was stupid."

"That's not stupid," Jamie tried to assure her.

"If I had just cut my losses, Aidan might be here today," Melissa said sadly.

Jamie shook his head. "You can't blame yourself." Jamie lowered his head to meet her eyes. "Trust me."

"I'm his mother. I'll always be responsible," she said with a sad shrug. Melissa looked off in the distance. "The photos..when I saw them, you weren't just trying to provide first aid. It was clear that you cared and it was good to know Aidan had that at the end. I'm grateful."

Jamie wasn't sure what to say. But he knew that saying anything to dispute the comfort she felt Aidan had at the end would be wrong. "You're welcome."

Their eyes met one more time and Jamie found the peace he'd hope he'd find by coming here. He hoped that Melissa Newman could find that one day as well.

Jamie was making his way up the sidewalk to the NYPD Training Center in Queens when he saw his partner coming towards him from the opposite direction. "Hey," he called out to her.

Eddie smiled when she spotted him and met him near the entrance. "Hey, back. How is it we ended up getting stuck with the same recertification course?" she asked.

"Yeah, as if I don't see enough of your mug as it is," Jamie responded, feigning annoyance.

Eddie huffed out a breath. "You should consider yourself lucky. And maybe, if you play your cards right, you won't get stuck with an actual fat, sweaty Hungarian guy as your partner when it's your turn with CPR Annie," she shot back.

One side of Jamie's mouth curved up before he turned to make his way up to the entrance of the building. "Let's hope," he said.

Eddie grimaced slightly as she considered what she said and what they would be doing today. She walked quickly to catch up with her partner. "Is it weird to be doing this after last summer?" she asked.

"Nah," he said as he stepped through the doors, barely meeting Eddie's eyes as he replied.

Eddie's forehead creased and she gave him a look as they stopped near the front desk to sign in.

Jamie smiled at her, thinking that he knew better than to try and get anything past her. "Well, kind of. But it's okay," he said honestly.

Eddie turned to face the front of the line, not wanting to press the issue. "Okay," she said with a tinge of doubt.

Jamie took a step forward when he reached the sign-in sheet. "Really," he assured her as he signed his name. Jamie handed Eddie the pen and said, "I'll always wish things could have ended differently, but I'm done feeling responsible for what that guy did," he shared.

Eddie put down the pen and eyed him for a moment before she led him down the hallway in the direction of their assigned meeting room.

It was Jamie's turn to catch up with his partner. "And this is a refresher course. I know this stuff just as well as you do," he said as their eyes met again.

Eddie smiled at him. "So long as you don't forget that," she told him.

"I won't," he said. "And how can I anyway? When I got you and everyone else to remind me," Jamie added.

"Again, you should consider yourself lucky," she said and went ahead of him into the meeting room.

Jamie smiled to himself. "I do," he whispered.

 _The End._

 _**I battled with the ending of this story, so hopefully, it was a satisfying one. All of your reviews were appreciated! Hoping to start posting something a little more cheerful in the next day or so - a continuation of the Eddie/Jamie universe I created._


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